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If you are a single woman over 40, you have a love history.You’ve been in relationships before and you may want one now, but for whatever reason you haven’t found the right person yet.You have no control over what your spouse does or doesn't do.You do, however, have complete control over what you do or don't do.(A footnote: Women are more likely to go through a midlife crisis earlier than men, often between the ages of 35 and 44.) But what are the other signs you might be facing a midlife crisis? 1) When you start "panicking about health issues," said Diane Franklin Slimbock. For four ways to cope with changes during a midlife crisis, go here.We asked our Facebook fans for their opinions and were rewarded with a wide range of responses. 2) "When you start to have more questions than answers; especially hard ones: 'is this all there is? I am much more grounded and more comfortable in my skin than ever before and it is these qualities, I think, that have enabled me to enjoy the dating ride. If you expect to find your soulmate on Ok Cupid, you will probably marinate in frustration. I always dated white-collar, highly-educated men but after my divorce I had a great casual relationship with a handyman. Wear it everyday, even if you're not going anywhere but the grocery store. If you just want to explore your sexuality, go for it (but be safe) and don't worry what the women's magazines tell you. With dating, as with life, you should focus on the journey, not the destination. Don't feel pressured to have sex before you're ready, or a relationship in which you settle.Here are 10 things I've learned about how to do just that. Instead, treat online dating for what it is: an invaluable way to learn about yourself and what you want in a partner, love, and sex. Do not start off with a mile-long list of "I'm looking for" qualities. Dating outside your type -- especially if your type hasn't worked out -- will give you a sense of who you are as a single person, without the pressure of "is this the one? You'll feel sexy knowing you're sporting black lace boy shorts under your jeans, whether or not a guy sees them. Have at least one outfit pre-selected, one that you know you look good in, so you're not scrambling through your closet at the last minute trying to figure out what to wear. You're a big girl and you're capable of making your own decisions about sex. Don't worry about your wrinkle lines, your imperfect past, or your ex.

What you want is to create an experience of a relationship with you that will attract the kind of man you want to be with. A first date is probably not the time to don an entirely new style; you want to relax knowing you look terrific instead of second-guessing your ensemble. Everyone at this age has less than supple skin and midlife baggage. If the date turns into a relationship, all of this is fodder for discussion and will come up naturally.When my marriage ended, I wondered if I'd be spending all my free, non-kid time with my books and my cat.There have been weekends when I've done just that, but there have also been long stretches when I've dated up a storm.Changes that will leave you confused and wondering what you can do to help yourself and your spouse and hopefully save your marriage. The only way you are going to be of any help to your spouse or possibly save your marriage is to learn how you can navigate their crisis without it costing you too much emotionally. Focus On Yourself And Your Children: It may seem impossible to not try to control your spouse's actions during a midlife crisis.This article is about helping yourself survive your spouse's midlife crisis. You aren't doing your spouse or yourself any favor when you become obsessed with what they are doing or thinking.

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In this book, he offers frank, down-to-earth wisdom on such topics as: - Practical ways to make the single life a better life - Making the most of the differences between the sexes - How your family history affects your dating relationships - "Creative Conversation from A to Z" - The silent issues: masturbation, date rape, and homosexuality - Breaking up without breaking down - Knowing when a relationship is marriageable . It's easy to read, and it offers real-life answers for your real-life issues. Min., United Theological Seminary) is pastor at Conquerors Church in Nashville, TN.

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