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And you have to figure out how to get yourself there. Does waiting at the bar with a drink make you look totally chill, or like a raging alcoholic? Yes, New Yorkers also pass on prospective mates because they're too nice, needy, live in a neighborhood that’s inconvenient, or are just plain weird. You’re usually meeting at the bar/restaurant/coffee shop. What if it’s one of the eight months a year when it’s freezing or those other four when it’s unbearably humid?Another guy I went out with had a phobia of nudity.

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“He cut all my food up for me and wouldn’t let me use my own fork. Online, the man seemed normal to a fault, but turned out to be a proper weirdo.He’s impossibly rich, and his lady-friend could model for a living, and possibly does. Because, you know, you just can’t find a decent dude in this city. Luisita Lopez Torregrosa, writing in Politics Daily, called the ratio of men to women “scarily in favor of men,” and advised ladies to “go West—San Diego, Dallas, and Seattle.It’s where the boys are.” As Tamsen Fadal, relationship expert and the female member of “America’s only husband-wife matchmaking team” told us, “New York is like a candy store to men. Some people are dating purely for the stories, whether they know it or not. In New York, Tinder is so accepted as a means of meeting that elusive attractive individual who lives three blocks from you and ALSO loves hamentashen, you might not even lie to your grandparents about it. There’s a ton of awesome stuff to do in the city, and since you probably have an awesome and more chill time doing it with your established friends, you’re not likely to risk doing anything "fun" on your list with a potentially lame stranger. If it goes well, have you packed your tiny overnight toothbrush in the event of a sleepover? Or to take a magical ride on Jane’s Carousel, or reserve a table at that new restaurant, or hit the concert they’ve been wanting to see. Maybe you ask to be set up with a friend of a friend. Again, I tip my hat to you, but this is increasingly not how it works here. When a couple in a different city recounts the story of how they met, they would often rather lie and tell you it was in a strip club than suffer e-shame. After you’ve gone to the bars, and sent all the PMs, and swiped to the right on anyone who isn’t in a picture with their mom or a tiger (it happens! These are just a small fraction of the things that enter into your mind.




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