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Divorces, like men, come in all shapes, sizes, and situations.

Sometimes there are amicable divorces; sometimes there are epic divorces that last years and years with lots of “collateral damage.” But if you’re dating recreationally and not considering him as a long-term partner, then these questions might not matter as much, since you’re not concerned with long-term compatibility.

Here are three post-divorce dating dangers and how you can avoid them:1. Trusting a new man once you've been hurt by your ex-husband is difficult.

Yet, if you don't get rid of this distrust toward men it will destroy your chance of finding someone new.

But it's also tough, she adds, because once you're on the dating scene you can feel like a teenager again, in that shaky, unconfident, not-sure-if-he'll-call sort of way.

So how can you make post-divorce dating—whether you're looking for a good time or a good (relationship-minded) man—less daunting?

Once the idea of going on a date comes into your mind and you don't want to chase it out again, you're at least ready to start, she says. The idea is that you should consciously decide how you want to proceed," which will in turn inform how you go about meeting people.

If it's truly awful, take a step back and wait some more. Gadoua, who runs dating workshops for women, asks them to free-associate words that come to mind when they think of "dating." Not surprisingly, words like "awful" and "dreadful" come up.

this makes it likely that they aren't going to stay away from you just because you ask them to in your profile.

But if you are considering him as possible life-partner, it’s good to know what you’re getting into, so you can decide, very consciously, whether you want to wade into deeper levels of commitment with him.

Here are some questions to consider: Did he leave Was there infidelity? It’s good to know why they decided to split up and how the split went.

If you’ve been dating for a while and are looking to continue seeing each other, especially if you are dating with the intention of looking for a life partner, it’s not unreasonable to ask about the circumstances of his divorce.

If, for example, his ex-wife is bitter about the divorce, it’s good to know that going into your relationship, because it will likely affect her feelings about you (if she knows about you) and (worst-case) how she treats her ex-husband and the kids.




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