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She decided to put together a list of “guidelines” that she’s hoping will help them navigate the sometimes treacherous waters of high school.As Allie began reading her list to me, I found myself crumbling (in a good way) on the inside.

Having just graduated from Milton herself, she has a fresh perspective on exactly what they’ll be encountering over the next four years.

She looked up and said, “Mom, tell me what you think of this. I’m giving them to my ninth graders.” To give you a little context, Allie served as a small group leader to middle school girls on Sunday mornings at our church.

That group is entering Milton High School as freshmen in a couple weeks.

Yes, all these boys and girls and genderqueers may break your heart, and that in turn will break mine. And so you need to make your own damn mistakes, to learn how to pick yourself up when you fall, to learn where the bandages are and to bind up your own cuts. I’ll be your consigliere when I can, the advisor, the person you come to when all seems lost. I think there’s a strength that only comes from fumbling your own way out of the darkness.

I’ve held you, sobbing, after your boyfriend cheated on you, and it tore me in two. To see you in a glass cage, experiencing nothing but cold emptiness at your fingers, as Dear Old Dad ensured that you got to experience nothing until he decided what you should like. You’re your own person, and some of the things you’re going to love will strike me as insane, ugly, or unenjoyable. Imagine if everyone loved the same thing; we’d all be battling for the same ten people.

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